A woman who can solve anything with one punch
by perspicace
Summary: Saitama had become the strongest women in the word. the only catch was she lost her hair in the process.. A/N (an alternate universe where everything is the same aside from saitama's gender. because i don't have a healthy relationship with this anime.)
1. Chapter 1

Long raven hair toyed in the wind, the black locks dancing softly. The strands of ebony played in the soft breeze, as if it were taunting the wind for being unable to pause its beauty. Attached to such hair was an even lovelier women.

The young saitama sighed, stretching her thin arms over her frame, the pantsuit she wore pinched her underarms uncomfortably. "Looking for a job sucks." The women groaned quite annoyed, although her face didn't show any signs of dissatisfaction. Saitama stopped in her tracks when the harsh sun no longer was on her. In front of her loomed a crab man. His inhuman height blocking the sight in front of her as well as the sun, leaving the girl standing directly in the mutant's shadow. Couldn't say she didn't find it a little condescending.

"Ho! What do we have here" the clicking of claws brought saitama to attention. "Yo... what's up?" The women attempted to walk around the freak of nature, when a large red claw stopped her. "What's the hurry ma'am? Won't a nice business lady like yourself join me?" saitama eyed the disturbing outfit the crab man wore, only to travel her eyes up to his drawn nipples. And apparently the crab thing was checking her out as well, and even her chest region. But the girl could only guess it wasn't in the same way she was. In a failed attempt to hide her disgust, saitama lightly pushed away the claw blocking her path. "I think I'll pass…"

"Che! Whatever! My business isn't with you anyway. I'm looking for a big chinned brat. I'll let you go this time since you're eyes are as lifeless as mine. But don't think you're gonna get a man like that. Especially with that attitude." The raven haired woman bit her tongue as she walked away from the man. If that's even what you would call him. The girl was just grateful she was spared from his whole life story.

Five minutes go by when saitama comes across a small playground. Grateful for the break from looking at just buildings. She smiled uncharacteristically. "Ah... look at the trees! And the birds. And the... the... big chinned kid….. crap." This kid was NOT cute. ''h-hey kid. You wouldn't have happened to mess with a big looking crab guy now would you?" The kid was silent. A crimson blush crept its way up his face even humorously dyeing his large clef chin a dark red. "P-pretty..."

Saitama groaned. "Listen. I know girls don't talk to you and whatever. But just answer the damn question." She crouched down making eye contact with the kid. The kid was quiet his eyes now distracted with the slight amount of cleavage that showed.

"Oi! Pay attention. You can look at boobs all the time. Just look at your chin. Now did or didn't you mess with a scary crab man?!" Saitama inwardly groaned she had no idea why she was doing this. She should have just ignored what was happening and gone home to her boring life. She didn't need these idiots annoying her.

"Oh! The mean business woman is still here! I let you go the first time but don't think I will now that you are messing with my revenge."

"Son of a bitch."

A/N I have no idea what my purpose for writing this is. There will be no point to this story aside from a simple redo. Probably will not be more than five chapters depending on the response. I swear the next one will be way longer and more creative


	2. Chapter 2

A/n I'll be skipping around a bit in the story because I really just wanted to write about the events that would actually change due to Saitama's gender. Let's just pretend everything that happens in-between is like the original

You have been told all the time in, this diet obsessed, society that exercise is the most important part to getting a change in your body. That all your healthy eating and obsessed calorie counting could only be worth it If you worked put. Saitama got that. And she understood. She could understand losing the wanted fat in her chest area. Hell, the woman could understand losing a bit of her social life.

But she was going to be damned if she was going to lose her hair without a fight.

The woman looked in the mirror and groaned. She had begun to lose a bit of her usual dramatic emotions, but she still felt high amounts of annoyance at the departure of her hair. She brought her hand to the now bare head and touched it, slightly fearful that a simple stroke could break the delicate few wisps that were still attached to her. And sure enough, as soon as the woman made contact, the last few strands popped out and floated to the floor taunting her. "You get back here bastards!" scrambling after the floating hair she ran out of the kitchen. Very annoyed that the breeze of her run felt ten times as strong now that she was bald.

It had started this morning whenever saitama had come back from training and fighting off some huge alien monster, to throw herself down on her dirty futon. When saitama woke dried in salty sweat and sore muscles she lifted her head off the pillow to find that the departure of her head made something fall off her scalp. Much like as if a hat had slowly slipped off of her. Of course, the easy going woman thought nothing of it until an hour later of walking around she had left a nice trail of black hair.

And that's where saitama was now, still in her pajamas, in front of her bathroom sink. Accompanied by a bucket of hair growth products in her arms. An hour went by and all the hair products, that could actually be applied to bare skin, rebelled and didn't even stick to the shiny scalp. in order to make a good lather. Rinsing her head for what seemed the hundredth time, the now bald woman was calmed by the soothing water that hit the raw skin of her head. Ten hair products, heavy with chemicals really hurt your skin apparently. "Ah fuck. My favorite hoodie." Saitama pouted when she noticed the heavy spills of chemical substances on her clothes. She started Pulling off the yellow thing ungracefully, all the while grunting.

Even though saitama had spent a lot of time in the mirror as it is, she couldn't help but look over the way her body had changed. Of course, the hair took the cake. But, two years of intense training really can change the human body. Especially the female one. Of course, she didn't have huge grotesque muscles like some of the male heroes she saw, but she didn't have the body of most of the woman that walked around. Not that saitama cared.

The once frail looking body of saitama was now dense and strong with muscle. An athletic body. The girl's body had become let's say. Curvier. Her legs had become larger and more toned making her butt round, large and "grab-able". She only used that phrase because of the reasoning behind the last man's attempt to touch saitama in a disrespectful manner. That man was in a ditch somewhere. Saitama had an equally as strong arms and core. But sadly her d-cup she use to favor had been reduced to a smaller size. At first saitama had frowned at the loss of chest aesthetic but quickly grew to enjoy it when she no longer had back pains or poked an eye out trying to run. The woman sighed. She guessed she would have to get over the loss of hair just the same as she had to get rid of the loss of a certain womanly characteristic. It's not that saitama cared too much. She was a hero, getting looked at wasn't really on her agenda.

Saitama inwardly smiled. At least she wouldn't get flirted with by villains anymore.

Satisfied with her little self-pep talk the woman threw on her suit and grabbed a banana.

"I hope there's a sale today!"

_-/-

A/n I swear next chapter will be of Genos and saitama meeting. Think of these two chapters sort of as a backstory or, setting up the character. P.s I am now certain that this won't go any farther than five chapters


	3. Chapter 3

The ever repeating buzz of some insect interrupted saitama's inner monologue. for what seemed to be the thousandth time today. All the woman wanted to do was mope about being strong, and water her cactus in peace. But the universe had a strange way in messing with the bald female. But finally, the reason behind the obnoxious buzzing finally rested on saitama's cheek. The way the six legs of the insect tickled her skin, let her know that it was probably one of the mosquitoes she had heard about earlier that day in the news. "Got ya." With an expressionless face, the girl smacked where the annoying bug had landed. Resulting in gusts of wind knocking over the objects that lied on her balcony. As a result of her indescribable power. Of course, it barely caused saitama any pain. Not that she ever really felt that sensation, at least any more. But, it would be quite foolish if the person who extinguished such a powerful punch couldn't even handle their own. So, saitama was certain she was the only one who could live through one of her own hits. A mosquito sure as hell couldn't…

 _ **Bzzzzz***_

"Oh. It's. On."

Hit after hit after attempt after attempt resulted in the same outcome. Loud sounds of attempted smacks. And a very much alive bug. Saitama was now bolting down the street chasing after the mosquito, not paying attention to how empty the city street was. The city was never this quiet. EVER. Saitama rounded the corner leaping over cars and an abandoned bike or two. The girl skidded to a stop when she saw, what she thought to be a cloud, a huge swarm of mosquitoes. The one she had chased for the past fifteen minutes, only to join in with the rest of its brethren, the woman groaned in exasperation "there are more of you?!"

"Sir! You have to get out of here! It is dangerous."

Saitama looked forward to where she heard the voice. In front of her was a man, who looked to be in his late teens. The woman couldn't decide what she was more jealous of, the fact that he could extinguish mosquitoes with ease, or the fact he had a whole head of hair. The bald girl scratched the arm of her baggy pajama shirt in boredom "excuse me?" before the stranger could reply he was flung back by some unseen force. Saitama might not have been a genius but she knew it would take the power of a freight train in order to do damage like that. Before saitama could intervene, maybe even lend a hand, she saw the same man get thrown in the air, only to have several of his limbs ripped off. Saitama flinched in sympathy, but then continued to cock an eyebrow in amusement when she saw no arrival of blood or shrieks of pain.

An ear piercing laugh pierced the air. Saitama looked up, only to see a fairly attractive woman attempting to kill the still midair blonde stranger. Saitama eyed the near nakedness of the bug woman, "that can't be function able, walking around like that… well, I wear a cape, so what do I know." Saitama, was quite confused by the selection of events that has happened, but she sighed in boredom. The woman knew as soon as she started to fix the problem it would be finished. The woman bounded up, slightly startled by a flash of flames that hit her, it seemed to come from the direction of the young man. Feeling the familiar pull of muscles, saitama pulled her arm back, and punch the mosquito woman. Who seemed to be in some form of sadistic hysteria?

Allowing gravity to do its work saitama landed somewhat gracefully on the asphalt. Only to notice she was completely nude. "I knew it was getting breezy..." frowning saitama wondered if it would be more useful to cover her bosom or her lower parts. Finding the thought to unworthy of time she allowed her skin to be out in the open. It's not like anyone was here to look. "Well I guess now I'm more naked than mosquito lady."

"Who are you!?"

Saitama turned around looking to find a (what seemed to be unfixable) robot-man-something on the floor. The only thing that remained of his was a near rubble torso. Saitama frowned at how perfect his hair still seemed. Saitama tiptoed over the super convenient rubble that blocked her naked form from the stranger. She rested her forearms on the barrier. "In saitama. A hero for fun." Said woman mused over how vague her backstory was, but was too lazy and uncaring to explain her self-further.

"Please be my master!"

Saitama frowned. "That's a weird pickup line."

The cyborg huffed in confusion, but too awed by what he saw to retort.

"Hey… do you need helps or something? You look a little... how do I put this… fucked up." Before the teen could reply she leaped over the barrier. Allowing herself the decency to cover her lower section with both hands. The woman walked over to the teen who was still immobilized on the floor. But now he was completely still and silent. The only movement was the shaking of golden irises and weird flustered steam that fumed out of the cyborg. Crouching low the naked woman was now full shown to the blonde man. Not noticing, or caring that her chest was directly in the poor guy's face.

She poked experimentally on the exposed wiring of the man.

"I guess were both naked in a way… huh?"

Not being replied to saitama frowned and looked at the boy's face, the teen was passed out. His face an abnormal shade of crimson and his body leaking torrents of steam. The normal person would have been burned by such an attack, but saitama was no ordinary person.

The naked woman frowned. Her hero side of her got the best of the woman. She knew she couldn't just leave him here. Lifting up the unconscious cyborg she set him down, his back resting on one of the decorational trees that littered the neighboring sidewalks. Attempting to give the kid the dignity of looking like he was sitting. Even though all that remained of him was an upper body. Looking around she located what seemed to be parts of the man and put them next to him in an undistinguished pile.

"Well. That'll do it."

She slapped her hands together forcing small collections of dirt to fly off. Saitama noted the semi, charred blue shirt that remained on the man.

"And I'll be taking this as payment."

Saitama understood the man's stubborn need to remain dignified, but she was going to be damned if she was just going to be exposed like this for long periods of time. Shuffling the shirt off of the man, she donned it on herself. The greyish blue baggy on her. Especially in the arm area.

Walking away she allowed herself one more look at the stranger. Her hands of course still covering her frontal area. She smirked. The exhausted face he had still shone through with determination and frustration. Reminded her of a younger saitama.

"Cute kid…

Weeeeiiiiird pickup lines."


End file.
